the sex craze has crazed down a bit

I haven’t been posting anything lately because I have been completely wrapped up with finishing up with finals & this semester. And although I have been quite the busy little girl.. that doesn’t stop me from being quite the bad little girl ;).

I haven’t been feeling as desperately horny lately and that makes me worried. It’s probably the stress n stuff but whenever my sex drive goes down I feel inferior somehow. I’m not sure to what or to who.. but it’s not a good feeling.

My relations with the compassion-less boy are still on… we’ve had somewhat of a serious talk the previous night and for the first time he actually opened up to me like never before… it’s weird with boys. You can pull your hair out trying to get whatever it is you want out of them…and it just won’t happen! But when you finally give up on trying to get it and don’t want it anymore… that’s when they are ready and willing to put it all out there.

The only problem is I don’t know what the fuck I want. Sometimes I want to be single and be free to do my own thing. Sometimes I want the title of being his girlfriend. All I know is right now it would be a retarded idea for us to be in an “official” relationship because: 

a) we have too many fucking issues- including that big one- trust.

b) I don’t know if I can be committed to him and only him. And..

c) I just don’t know if its even worth it to work on our problems and put myself wholeheartedly in this situation.

Ugh…who knows what the efsicles to do?

…Especially since I’ve already been messing up on the whole committed part…;)

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY